<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Love Amongst the Plants (aka the plantverse aka the plant gays au) by beifongbltch</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743958">Love Amongst the Plants (aka the plantverse aka the plant gays au)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/beifongbltch/pseuds/beifongbltch'>beifongbltch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Love Amongst the Plants (aka the plantverse aka the plant gays au) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, And they were coworkers, M/M, plant gays, the plantverse au, theres something about a zz plant that can be so personal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:56:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,767</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743958</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/beifongbltch/pseuds/beifongbltch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>zuko and sokka work at a plant nursery and they are so oblivious.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aang/Katara (Avatar), Bato &amp; Sokka (Avatar), Bato/Hakoda (Avatar), Katara &amp; Sokka (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Love Amongst the Plants (aka the plantverse aka the plant gays au) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867468</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>109</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this au was born from my <a href="https://beifong-bltch.tumblr.com/post/624687164391849984/beifong-bltch-ok-everyone-considerzukka-but">Plantverse Tumblr Post</a> go check it out for more plant gays content</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tuesdays are never particularly busy at the Misty Palms Garden Center and today is no exception. No new shipments, barely any maintenance to be done, very few customers, and it’s almost time to close. It’s Zuko’s perfect day, because who wouldn’t want a day alone with a book and a ton of plants?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right now, Zuko stands inside the Misty Palms store, watering the philodendrons and ferns, blasting the classic rock radio station through the speakers. He glances around the store, looking for which of the no-sells he can take back to his dorm. Of course, he’d take all of them if his asshole roommate wasn’t so fussy about it. Besides, that many plants, even for Zuko, is a bit overkill. And, of course, there’s Piandao’s limit on how many plants Zuko can take home. Which is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid rule</span>
  </em>
  <span>, by the way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you say you’re looking for a big indoor plant?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bell on the door rings and in walks Sokka, beaming as he leads an older woman through the store. He’s a favorite amongst customers, he could sell a broken pot with a dead tree in it if he so chose. Zuko knows that customers love Sokka--how could you </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> love him--for a million reasons, but most importantly because of the way he really listens. He’s charming and attentive and always knows how to make anyone feel special. Thinking about it makes Zuko blush, but that’s probably nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I think this fern would be a great addition to your foyer. And she’s a very low maintenance kinda gal,” Sokka gestures to a leafy catastrophe that’s nearly spilling out of its container. And he is wrong, </span>
  <em>
    <span>very wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ma’am,” Zuko shouts, rushing over to the customer. “Ma’am,</span>
  <em>
    <span> please </span>
  </em>
  <span>don’t listen to him. He clearly has no idea what he’s talking about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How very dare you!” Sokka dramatically pretends to be shocked. “I’ll have you know, I’m an expert on Concord ferns.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Boston ferns,” Zuko sighs. “Don’t mind him, ma’am. If he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> an expert, he’d tell you that this fern would be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>nightmare</span>
  </em>
  <span> if you need something low maintenance.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zuzu, how rude! Can you believe him?” Sokka does his playful customer banter that definitely makes middle-aged ladies feel like they’re being progressive. Zuko laughs to himself for a moment, trying to shake off the heat creeping up his body after hearing Sokka’s ridiculous nickname. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, ma’am, if you’d follow me I can help you find a much better fit,” Zuko gives his coworker a light shove and leads the customer to another display shelf. The woman takes her time contemplating the different options, as if the store doesn’t close in five minutes, before Zuko finally convinces her to go with the Lemon Button fern--</span>
  <em>
    <span>yes this one is low maintenance, ma’am</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Zuko rings her up, sneakily giving her a discount for putting up with Sokka’s antics, and wishes her a great day. On her way out, she takes a second to turn back around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“By the way,” she beams. “You two are a lovely couple.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Both of them begin to shout “WE ARE NOT A--” but before they can finish their sentence, she’s already gone. Zuko and his friend are cracking up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course</span>
  </em>
  <span>, they aren’t together. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How does anyone even come to that conclusion?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Still, every time it comes up, Zuko can’t help but feel something that he doesn’t quite understand. Sure, that’s his best friend and he loves him a lot, but what are the butterflies for? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Babe!” Sokka gasps, trying to stop his laughter. “That’s the third time this week! How cute are we?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko tries to catch his breath, only to start laughing again. It’s really like a fun game watching customers guess if he and Sokka are a couple--which, again, they are </span>
  <em>
    <span>obviously</span>
  </em>
  <span> not. Zuko will never know why anyone thinks that, but it’s hilarious that they do, </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You busy tonight?” Sokka stands next to Zuko, leaning against the counter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you this morning, I have a paper on invertebrates due at midnight,” Zuko rolls his eyes, picking up his book again. “The mollusks are counting on me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, forget the mollusks! That’s boring,” Sokka groans, plopping his head against Zuko’s arm. Zuko moves his free hand to rest on top of his friend’s head, fingers lightly moving through his hair. It’s the perfect mix of coarse and soft and Zuko loves that it feels so fresh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko would offer to finish his paper at the university library with Sokka, but he knows that if they went to study together, no studying would actually be done. He’s also pretty sure that Sokka has more than enough to keep himself busy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think writing about snails is very fun, actually,” Zuko smiles, turning the page. Sokka lets out another groan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> fun!” Sokka says, mustering all the drama within him. “Besides, midnight is like, six hours from now. You have plenty of time!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door opens and neither of them bothers to look up from their position.Of course, it’s Piandao and if the man’s not used to this from these two by now, then no one could ever be. He has to be accustomed to the boys’ general attached at the hip-ness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you boys lock up?” Piandao asks, shutting his office door before leaving the store.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka shouts an obnoxious “goodnight” after their boss before leaning his head back on Zuko. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How important is your paper?” Sokka pushes his head into Zuko’s arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very,” Zuko runs his fingers through Sokka’s hair. He removes the hair tie and Sokka’s wolftail falls. It’s more fun to play with Sokka’s hair like this. Zuko sort of finds it relaxing, even comforting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zuzu,” Sokka whines. “Please hang out with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko shudders once again at the nickname. He feels something in his chest when Sokka says it, though. His face heats up and his ears start to feel funny, but he takes a deep breath and it goes away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s lock up,” Zuko closes his book and nudges Sokka off of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you wanna ride in the golf cart?” Sokka asks as he stands up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you- of course I wanna ride in the golf cart,” Zuko tells him, knowing exactly what his friend has in mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka grabs his friend’s hand and leads him to the utility vehicles with pure chaos in his eyes. After three attempts to start the engine, it finally lurches to life and he takes it to the backlot which is </span>
  <em>
    <span>supposed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be for new deliveries. He drives slowly for about a minute before he whips the cart in the tightest circles possible. Zuko clutches onto him for dear life, screaming and laughing as they spin. Both of the boys roar with laughter before they go back to actually doing what they are supposed to. They walk around to each of the gates, grasping hands </span>
  <em>
    <span>just like friends do</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That warm feeling in Zuko’s face comes back, and if it wasn’t getting dark, Sokka would totally be able to see. It’s not like this is anything new. Sokka’s an affectionate person- to everyone. Zuko happens to find it nice, it even makes him feel safe. It’s just nice to have someone to hold in a totally friendly way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ready to go?” Sokka tosses his keys in the air and heads for his car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” Zuko shouts before running back into the store. He walks back out with a plant in his arms, beaming with pride.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Another one? Don’t you have enough?” Sokka rolls his eyes and starts for the car again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well this is a ZZ plant and I don’t have one,” Zuko defends himself while trying to catch up. “And it hasn’t sold for over a week and Piandao was going to throw it out. It would be wrong not to take it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, weirdo,” Sokka laughs as he climbs into his car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko protests for a second but then gets in, holding his new plant tightly in his lap. As Sokka drives out of the lot, he turns up the 70s Hits radio station getting ready to scream along. Zuko loves watching him, though he doesn’t know why. Sure, it’s nice to see his friend enjoy himself, but that doesn’t exactly explain that warm feeling in his chest when he looks over at Sokka in the driver’s seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The drive back to campus is at least twenty minutes on a good day, but it never feels long enough. It’s like a sacred time that no one can infringe upon, and there are only a few places where they can get these. At work, there are customers and Piandao. On campus, Ty Lee and Suki usually want to hang out. And of course, the hefty schedule of balancing classes and work can get in the way. The only places for alone time are Sokka’s apartment and his car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it’s great for Zuko that his friend </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> a car. Without Sokka’s Subaru (which Suki affectionately named The Lesbian Mobile), Zuko would be taking his scooter everywhere and <em>that’s just not safe</em>. Driving to and from work really became a pivotal part of their friendship when Sokka realized that Zuko was basically doing a glorified version of walking to work every day. From then on, Sokka assigned himself the job of chauffeur.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko gets back to his dorm at 8:00ish, timing that is not exactly ideal for this paper, which he </span>
  <em>
    <span>totally</span>
  </em>
  <span><em> had enough time to write</em> but </span>
  <em>
    <span>chose</span>
  </em>
  <span> not to use it. He’d have enough time now if he didn’t spend half an hour searching around the room for a place to put his new plant. It’s not like it needs much light or really much of anything, but Zuko’s side of the room is so overrun with plants that there's literally not enough space. For now, Zuko puts it on the floor next to his desk because, </span>
  <em>
    <span>wow</span>
  </em>
  <span> he really needs to finish this paper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He does find mollusks to be pretty interesting, that he didn’t lie about. Writing 10 pages on them, though? Well, that’s a different story. It’s not the paper that’s the problem, it’s Zuko’s current inability to write anything...And maybe it is partially the paper. No matter how boring it might be, though, Zuko knows he has better things to complain about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Like Jet, who barges in around 11:00, clearly ready to pick another fight. When he throws the door open, Zuko knows that Jet is ready to explode and he doesn’t need a reason to do it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Turn that off, I’m tired.” Jet flicks off the light switch and stomps over to his bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m almost done. This is due at midnight.” Zuko continues typing, squinting as his eyes adjust.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care. Just turn it off so I can sleep,” Jet’s tone sharpens.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jet, I’m almost-” Zuko doesn’t get to finish his sentence before Jet launches into a rant about how terrible of a roommate Zuko is. It happens almost every night, but somehow Jet always finds something new to complain about and new insults to dish. Everything he says cuts deep and it always circles back to how worthless Zuko is. In a way, Jet reminds Zuko of his father; and that makes it all even worse.  But no matter how awful Jet is or how much his words hurt, Zuko can’t bring himself to do anything. He feels stuck, paralyzed even and he’s not strong enough to get himself out. Jet finally ends his tirade by telling Zuko to “get rid of those stupid plants.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko doesn’t say anything. He can’t. He just grabs his laptop and the ZZ plant and leaves. He walks down the hallway, suppressing a much-needed cry. He’d never admit it, but Jet can really hurt him and he does it too often to quantify.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko knows where he’s going, he only waits to get off campus to start crying.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s apartment is small and cold. It’s nice, sure, and it’s great that he can afford it, but it just doesn’t feel like home. It’s lonely, and Sokka hates that. Most nights he’s hyper-aware of the isolation, and tonight is no exception. Sure, he probably has actually important work to do, but he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not like this. It’s nights like this he turns to his sister.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure, Sokka has been living away from home for three years, but that doesn’t make the silence of the empty apartment feel so awful. Home was always so loud, and so much was always going on. Katara always running between here hundred extracurriculars or having all of her friends over; both dads scrambling to and from work but always rushing home in time for dinner; even that fluffy monster Hei Bai is always there to keep Sokka company. It’s just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> now. Maybe this is why Dad practically begged Sokka to find a roommate.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>[from Sokka: how goes it at home]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[from Katara: fine. boring. i have a physics test tomorrow]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[from Sokka: gross. too busy to call your dear older brother?]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[from Katara: nah, give me a sec]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s weird to think that his sister is still back home, in high school. He knows that all she wants to do is go off and explore college and her life, but secretly, he hopes she never has to feel the way he does in his own apartment. In a few months, she’s going to be off on her own and probably won’t have time like this for Sokka anymore. The blaring ringtone on his phone makes those thoughts go away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” Katara waves into the camera, propping her phone against her desk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Sokka!” a voice calls out before Aang comes into view of the phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, looks like you’re really studying for that physics test Katara,” Sokka laughs as he props his phone up on the kitchen counter and searches for something of sustenance. “And what happened to the rule about not closing the door when you have a boy over?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> studying, idiot. And Dad said it was okay,” Katara defends herself before furiously scribbling in her notebook.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, what did Dad 2 say?” Sokka knows that Dad 2 was definitely Bato this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” she smiles deviously as she writes. </span>
  <span>“Oh...No Zuko tonight?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He has some lame paper,” Sokka mindlessly answers, filling his cereal bowl before curiosity takes over. “Why do you ask?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t he always there?” Aang laughs in the background, tossing a pillow in the air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, usually Zuko is always here</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But that’s just because we like hanging out together, obviously. And, yeah, Zuko spends the night a lot, but that’s only because his roommate is awful. Is Katara saying it’s weird? No, she wouldn’t. She knows we’re best friends, right?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sokka’s face heats up and his toes feel numb, but that’s probably nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Sokka, do you remember Mrs. Wu?” Katara perks up, pulling Sokka’s head from the spiral it’s in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She launches into an extravagant story about her calculus teacher and a fiasco with the math team and how she totally deserved extra credit. Sokka nods and laughs along, but really his mind is in other places. More specifically, his mind is focused on Zuko. It’s not like he’s with Zuko every minute of every day. And they do not spend every night together. Of course, they see each other daily, but what best friends don’t? Their other friends are usually with them too anyway!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t that so unfair? Sokka? SOKKA!” Katara taps on the screen of her phone, snapping Sokka back out of his thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, uh, yeah that’s shitty. Hey, is Dad home?” his leg bounces rapidly as he tries to keep calm. Talking to his sister is supposed to make him feel better, so why isn’t it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dad 2</span>
  </em>
  <span> is home. You wanna talk to him?” Katara asks, picking up her phone. “Aang stay here, I’ll go give him the phone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Katara rushes out to the living room, flipping the camera around to show Bato on the couch with a happy Samoyed on his lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought dogs weren’t allowed on the couch,” Sokka can hear the smirk in Katara’s voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s your father’s rule,” Bato smiles to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right. Well, Sokka’s on the phone, he wants to talk to you,” Katara hands the phone off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Dad,” Sokka packs away the trembling in his voice. “How are things?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine, son. What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Nothing’s wrong. Why would anything be wrong? Totally nothing going on here,” Sokka sputters out, failing to keep his composure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sokka, you’re my kid, I can tell something is wrong,” Bato sits up a little straighter, mimicking his regular therapist pose. Sokka can never tell if he loves or hates feeling like one of his father’s clients, but right now it feels nice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. It’s just one of those nights, you know?” Sokka sighs, trying to focus on the phone call but his mind is spinning out of control. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is exactly why I didn’t want you living by yourself,” Bato pauses, taking a deep breath. “But, I get it. I’m not going to lecture you, but you know you have a lot of people that care about you, right? Even when you’re having a bad night, you still have people that love you, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you’re right. I don’t know what’s going on with me,” Sokka says, mostly to himself. “Maybe something Katara said.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hear that. I’m Dad 2 tonight,” Bato laughs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, by the way, Aang is in her room right now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay love you. Bye!” Sokka hangs up the phone giggling to himself. No matter how he’s feeling right now, it is so fun to piss Katara off. It’s one of the best parts about calling home, and probably why he does it so much. There’s really nothing like laughing with--or at--his family when he’s down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it doesn’t make the spinning feeling in his head go away. What is happening? And why did it only start happening when Katara mentioned…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s nothing, right? Definitely nothing. Sokka is probably just stressed, maybe tired. Maybe it’s just how much he </span>
  <em>
    <span>hates</span>
  </em>
  <span> being alone. But it’s fine, right? Nothing to worry about here.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>For once, Sokka actually decides to do his Ecology 116 readings. And somehow </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> is the only thing that’s keeping him from spiraling. Well, that and the Mamma Mia soundtrack blaring from his laptop. The technical talk of ecosystems lets him drown out all of his thoughts and just be at peace for a minute. Sokka thinks that reading a textbook and drowning his thoughts out with ABBA might not be the greatest coping mechanism for whatever is going on, but that’s neither here nor there. He actually finds himself getting lost in the reading, not that it’s particularly interesting. But for a while, it’s like nothing beyond those book pages exists. Sokka doesn’t even notice how much time has passed until he’s yawning uncontrollably. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>12:30? Already? Sokka groans to himself, fully aware that he has an 8:00 AM microbiology lab and he’s going to hate himself in the morning. It’s probably time for bed--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Knock. Knock. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a strange thing to hear so late at night, but today has been a weird day, hasn’t it? Sokka contemplates even answering the door because what kind of weirdo shows up at your door at this hour? Curiosity wins over survival instincts, though, and he goes and opens the door, not expecting to be greeted by--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zuko?” Sokka looks at his friend, standing there with a backpack and a plant. His eyes might be red and puffy too, but Sokka can’t really tell. “What are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to keep this plant here,” Zuko announces as he walks inside, not waiting for an invitation. His voice is sort of shaky and Sokka can’t tell if it’s because he’s been crying or because it’s so damn cold outside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zuko, how did you...wait did you walk here?” Sokka asks, filling with concern.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude, what do you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna put him right here, okay?” Zuko sets the plant on Sokka’s rather empty bookshelf. “His name is Druk, and he doesn’t need too much of anything but </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> move him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zuko, what the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Sokka tries to wrap his head around what’s happening, but he can’t. Sure, it’s not weird for Zuko to be here. What </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> weird is that he walked here at midnight and may or may not be crying. Sokka thinks he might pass out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Zuko cocks his head, not unlike a puppy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s ready to launch into a lecture about how Zuko really needs to be careful. Walking that far? This late at night? Dude, what were you thinking? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But right as he opens his mouth, the truth sets in. Something’s wrong. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Really wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zuko, what happened?” Sokka lowers himself onto the couch, patting the spot next to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It looks like Zuko might protest, but after a brief silence he lets himself sink into the couch. His head falls onto Sokka’s shoulder as he takes a deep breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jet,” is all Zuko needs to say. “He’s such a dick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was it this time?” Sokka asks, putting his arm around Zuko.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He came in and immediately wanted to pick a fight. And he was yelling at me and telling me that I’m awful and-” Zuko sniffles a little before the dam breaks. “He sounded just like my father.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Frankly, Sokka doesn’t know much about Zuko’s father, but he does know that he’s responsible for that scar over Zuko’s left eye, and that he’s probably the worst person ever. Who he </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> know is Jet, who is maybe the second worst. He had the absolute pleasure of meeting him briefly when he went with Zuko to grab some snacks before work. And pleasure it was when Jet laid eyes on Sokka and almost instantaneously told Zuko that his friends are all “disgusting.” Sokka also knows that Jet goes out of his way to be an asshole to Zuko, and that does not sit well with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But right now, it doesn’t matter how much Sokka wants to punch Jet square in his disgusting eyebrows. What matters is that Zuko is crying, and to Sokka, that’s more important than anything. He knows there isn’t much he can do except be there for Zuko. Right now, holding his friend and letting him cry is all he can do. He starts by reaching his free arm around Zuko, slowly to make sure it’s okay. Zuko sinks further into his side, breathing heavily as tears fall from his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Sokka sits there holding him. He’ll hold his best friend as long as he needs to, and maybe even after that as long as he knows Zuko will be okay. Sure, he doesn’t know Zuko’s dad, but maybe that’s for the best, because if Sokka ever met him he’d probably show no restraint. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka squeezes Zuko a little tighter, knowing that he can’t really make the pain go away. Jet must be a really miserable person to do this to someone as incredible as Zuko. He considers saying that, but ultimately decides that silent comfort is better, Zuko prefers it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He remembers the first time something like this happened. Some rude customer at Misty Palms decided to scream at Zuko over something completely stupid, like the type of pot she was buying. Zuko ran out of the store and Sokka couldn’t find him for half an hour until he discovered Zuko hiding in the tool shed. Sokka tried to talk him down, but was only met with Zuko practically begging him to stop talking. Part of Sokka was hurt, was he </span>
  <em>
    <span>that bad</span>
  </em>
  <span> at being comforting? But in the moment, all he wanted was for his friend--who he barely even knew--to be okay. It must have been a few hours that Sokka just sat next to Zuko in silence, just trying to be there for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while, Zuko is out of tears. He sits there, breathing heavily and maybe trying to regain the composure that may have been there at one point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t even finish my paper,” he chokes out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You being okay is more important than any paper,” Sokka squeezes him once more. He knows that Zuko is already mentally beating himself up. It hurts Sokka to think about it, how his friend feels like if he isn’t perfect, he’s worthless. Sokka wants to tell him about how amazing he is and how much good he brings to the world, but this isn’t about how Sokka feels. It’s about Zuko being okay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure the mollusks will understand,” he adds, moving hair out of Zuko’s eyes. This earns a small laugh from Zuko which might be the sweetest sound in the world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m tired,” Zuko grumbles, leaning into Sokka’s side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neither of them needs to say anything before Sokka rolls Zuko off of him and stands up. He reaches out a hand and pulls his friend off of the couch. They walk in silence to Sokka’s room and simultaneously let themselves collapse onto the bed. And it’s not weird or anything new because, honestly, they do this all the time. It’s just a part of them being friends, and Sokka knows that this is probably the only time Zuko will sleep all week. Before a minute can even pass, Zuko is out cold, laying a little closer to Sokka than usual. Sokka takes it in for a minute before letting himself drift off, glad that his best friend showed up at midnight.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“I always love our double dates,” she says with full smug-ness in her voice. She thinks she knows something, but she definitely doesn’t.</p><p>“Dates,” Zuko rolls his eyes. “Not happening, Suki.” He reaches in his pocket for his key fob but before he can open the door, Suki grabs his arm.</p><p>“Come on, dude, you know what I mean. The two of you are just-”</p><p>“I’m not gay, Suki.” Zuko tears his arm out of her hand and opens the door. The word spits from his mouth with more intensity than he’d hoped, as if it were an insult. He wonders if she can tell that he’s lying, hopefully not. She doesn’t need to know. No one does.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>content warning: swearing, abuse mention</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Back again already?” Zuko says as Ty Lee bounces into the store. His face is overcome with exasperation because, as everyone knows, Ty Lee coming into the store means she’s killed yet another plant. And this one was probably the hundredth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You said the English Ivy would be easy!” Ty Lee protests, searching through the new arrivals that Sokka already knows she will massacre. “I watered it every day, exactly like you said!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You what?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ty Lee, I said DON’T water every day.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka turns and sees his friend’s face almost the shade of paper. If Ty Lee kills another plant, Zuko may go into cardiac arrest and Sokka doesn’t have the time for a hospital visit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you just-I can’t believe-” Zuko’s head is in his hands. Sokka laughs to himself, only Zuko could be this dramatic over a plant--well, more like 99 plants at this point. “Ty Lee, I’m begging you to just get a succulent. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Even you</span>
  </em>
  <span> could keep one of those alive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ty Lee starts to protest before the door swings open, revealing Suki who is visibly struggling to hold up the box of pots she’s carrying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for helping, babe,” she shouts to Ty Lee as the box almost slips from her arms. Sokka runs over to help her and, </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn this is heavy. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The fact that she was able to carry it by herself at all: astounding. They set the box on the counter, less gracefully than they had hoped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I made the drainage holes smaller as you</span>
  <em>
    <span> so kindly suggested,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Suki gives Zuko a playful glare as she begins to unpack the pots. Sokka knows that this suggestion was more so a lengthy, heated argument that even Piandao got involved in. A pretty yellow pot may or may not have gotten brutally smashed at the time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko rolls his eyes and grabs a notepad, quickly taking inventory of all the new pottery. Sokka can see the excitement on his face, even though he’s not actually showing it. His face glows a little and there’s a smile creeping in his eyes that no one would normally notice. No one but Sokka.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><em><span>He looks really cute,</span></em> <em><span>hair falling in his eyes as he’s hunched over a notepad</span></em><span>...</span><em><span>what?</span></em><span> Sokka finds himself getting lost in his friend’s features. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” Ty Lee waves a hand in his face, bouncing on her toes to be tall enough. “Are you even listening?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka shakes his head, trying to snap himself out of whatever he’s thinking right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Sorry, I’m just,” he looks back at Zuko, “Tired.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>asking</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Ty Lee launches back into the long speech that Sokka apparently missed most of, “what time you’re off today because </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lee’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>is closing earlier than normal tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Technically,” Zuko looks up from his notes. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> off in an hour, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> has to accept a delivery for Piandao at five.” He shoots a glare at Sokka before easing into a smirk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka wonders if his friends can tell that his heart is racing and may never slow down again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span>? He’s not so sure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Boring.” Suki rolls her eyes. “See you at </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lee’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before anyone can answer, Ty Lee is already standing at the counter with another plant in her hands. Sokka isn’t sure what it is, but the look on Zuko’s face tells him all he needs to know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ty Lee, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Zuko sighs, trying to grab the pot from her. She snatches it away and Zuko gets all flustered. His face goes red and he stammers, trying to form a sentence that doesn’t come out. Zuko even jumps on the balls of his feet, failing miserably at snatching the plant back from her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s chest feels weird but he doesn’t know why. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Probably nothing, right? Just a weird day. Maybe allergies.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ty Lee wins this battle, obviously, because Zuko can’t just </span>
  <em>
    <span>not sell something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Piandao would be pissed, or maybe just silently mad. Zuko begs for Suki to back him up, but she gave up on this a long time ago once Ty Lee formed the weekly habit of buying a new plant and immediately killing it. Zuko looks so defeated when the girls walk out, it would be really sad if it were about anything other than </span>
  <em>
    <span>plants</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But, knowing how attached Zuko is to plants, it’s pretty disheartening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She got a Peace Lily,” Zuko sighs as Sokka walks over to the counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with that?” Sokka thinks the sadness in his friend’s eyes is comical, but it’s sort of getting to him.</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Those are my favorite!” Zuko burts with exasperation. “And she’s going to kill it so fast. She’s not even going to appreciate the </span>
  <em>
    <span>incredible</span>
  </em>
  <span> air filtration they provide. I just know that she won’t be able to commit to the right watering schedule, AND it should take her </span>
  <em>
    <span>at least </span>
  </em>
  <span>three weeks to actually kill it but knowing her it’ll be dead in four days tops. And what’s more...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko keeps talking and Sokka is trying really hard to listen, he swears. But his mind is wandering a little too far. Zuko’s pretty brown eyes widen with excitement when he talks about his plants. Sokka thinks he could get lost in them if he weren’t getting distracted by a million other things. The way Zuko’s hair falls over his face and moves rapidly as he talks. The way the sunset light hits him and gives him almost an angelic glow. He’s just so...</span>
  <em>
    <span>air filtration</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What was he saying about air filtration</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Something about those...what are they called? Pieced lilies? They do something to the air, right</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Zuko is looking at Sokka like he’s expecting an answer, </span>
  <em>
    <span>what is he asking</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“T-the air in your dorm must be really crisp,” Sokka spits out. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Idiot</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why would I say that, that’s so stupid.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko looks completely confused for a moment before he turns on his heels to a feather duster and a watering can. He looks good, really good. Sokka is especially glad now that he convinced Zuko to get that black and white Hawaiian shirt at the thrift store, even though his stylistic choice of having it open over a white t-shirt with </span>
  <em>
    <span>those</span>
  </em>
  <span> old jeans is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> what Sokka would have done.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lee’s Tea</span>
  </em>
  <span> on Friday nights is a tradition that </span>
  <em>
    <span>cannot</span>
  </em>
  <span> be broken. The music plays too loud, bad movies play on the TV in the corner, and the couches are </span>
  <em>
    <span>just so comfortable</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Maybe all four of them were broke, but not even that could stop them from going absolutely apeshit on boba on a weekly basis.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suki and Ty Lee sit on one side of the table, arms around each other and hunched over Ty Lee’s phone. They look so happy, smiling and laughing at each other, cracking jokes that don’t make sense to anyone else listening. It’s a kind of happiness that Sokka isn’t sure exists for him. Suki and Ty Lee, they’re the lucky ones. They found someone who they really love. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If only that luck existed for everyone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka moves his arm to rest on the back of the couch and Zuko fills in the space. He might be sitting a little closer than usual, but Sokka can’t entirely tell. Zuko looks like he doesn’t notice at all and, honestly, he probably doesn’t. There’s nothing out of the ordinary here, so why does it feel so… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys are so</span>
  <em>
    <span> cute</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Ty Lee laughs as she holds up her phone to take a picture. The way she says it suggests more meaning and it makes Sokka’s face heat up. He can feel his heart beat a little faster and he knows he’s being nowhere </span>
  <em>
    <span>near</span>
  </em>
  <span> discreet, but when he looks over to Zuko, he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>. If anything, he seems a little annoyed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is that a frown on his face? Why is he looking away like that?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me see,” Sokka demands, trying to suppress whatever feelings are bubbling inside. The words come out a little more frantic than he’s anticipated. It’s, objectively, a cute picture. Zuko’s face is all scrunched up around the straw in his mouth and the orange hue of the lights weaves through his hair in such a nice way. He looks good in a way Sokka can’t quite explain and that’s enough to call this a great picture. It helps that Sokka looks good in it too. His head is turned slightly to look at Zuko and he notes that, </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn that jawline looks good</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He doesn’t spare any time sending the picture to himself, maybe so he can look at it more closely later, when he’s alone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s a really nice picture, okay?</span>
  </em>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Zuko is staring for a second, but he looks away. Sokka can’t tell what his expression is saying, if it is at all. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He</span>
  </em>
  <span> probably isn’t freaking out inside like Sokka is. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He</span>
  </em>
  <span> probably isn’t wondering why his heart is beating so fast. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s probably nothing, but what if it isn’t?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka decides that, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes, it is nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and packs that away. He doesn’t need to think about it, and besides, he’s probably making a big deal out of nothing. He probably does that too much anyway. Zuko is unbothered, not looking away from his drink as he sucks boba up the straw. He fits perfectly in Sokka’s arm, but Sokka shouldn’t think about that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys busy tomorrow?” Suki asks, looking like she’s trying to break some tension.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Zuko responds almost immediately. “We have plans.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To Sokka’s knowledge, they </span>
  <em>
    <span>very much do not.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But, obviously he can’t ask, that’ll just look weird. Looks like there are unknown plans for tomorrow. Who knows, maybe Zuko could already tell that Suki was going to invite them to watch an experimental theatre troupe do an original show loosely based on</span>
  <em>
    <span> The Metamorphosis</span>
  </em>
  <span> downtown. Which she </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> and it sounds even </span>
  <em>
    <span>more unbearable</span>
  </em>
  <span> out loud. Whatever Zuko’s mystery plans are, they are a million times better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You two are so...never mind.” Suki pulls out her phone and sinks into it, Ty Lee peering over her shoulder and giggling at whatever is on the screen. Sokka doesn’t want to think too much of anything but there’s something odd about it. He decides to shrug off </span>
  <em>
    <span>yet another weird thought</span>
  </em>
  <span> and move on; he’s just making something out of nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The drive back to drop everyone off is maybe the most normal thing in Sokka’s life right now. Nothing new or weird, for the most part. But when Zuko gets out of the passenger seat, he lingers a little longer, Sokka squeezes his hand a little tighter. The air grows heavier, Sokka thinks. Zuko’s eyes become a maze with no exit, but only for a moment. Before he has to snap back into reality.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ty Lee moves to the passenger side after kissing Suki goodbye for an </span>
  <em>
    <span>obnoxiously</span>
  </em>
  <span> long time. She has a smirk on her face, like she knows something, but Sokka can’t tell why. Or </span>
  <em>
    <span>what </span>
  </em>
  <span>she knows. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Clearly, there’s nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Of course Sokka loves his best friend, who doesn’t? That’s all it is, </span>
  <em>
    <span>obviously</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” Ty Lee finally says, the nonchalant tone of her voice is almost upsetting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not much, how about you?” Sokka answers, trying to avoid what she’s really asking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>, stupid! What’s going on with,” she drops to a whisper, as if someone is going to hear from outside the car, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Zuko</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you mean.” Sokka </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been acting weird all day,” she asserts and there’s no arguing with that. Sokka won’t willingly admit that, though. And truth be told, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>know what’s going on, and he might not want to. Maybe it’s better to not know and forget about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Ty Lee presses on, she’s not going to let up until she gets what she wants and Sokka knows that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> like I don’t want to talk about this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that so?” The way she says it makes Sokka crack. Something about it inexplicably reminds him of his sister.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When I look at him, my heart beats too fast,” and that’s the last thing he says before parking outside of Ty Lee’s dorm.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s something in the air when Zuko hops out of the Subaru, but he writes it off as nothing. Suki takes her sweet time saying goodbye to Ty Lee, which only makes Zuko look like an idiot standing with his hands in his pockets, waiting to walk inside. He catches the girls whisper something to each other before each of them walks away with a smirk on their face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I always love our double dates,” she says with full smug-ness in her voice. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinks</span>
  </em>
  <span> she knows something, but she </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely doesn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dates</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Zuko rolls his eyes. “Not happening, Suki.” He reaches in his pocket for his key fob but before he can open the door, Suki grabs his arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, dude, you know what I mean. The two of you are just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>gay</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Suki.” Zuko tears his arm out of her hand and opens the door. The word spits from his mouth with more intensity than he’d hoped, as if it were an insult. He wonders if she can tell that he’s lying, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hopefully not. She doesn’t need to know. No one does. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zuko, you don’t need to…” Suki starts to argue, but it looks like she’s already accepted defeat. She shuts her mouth and follows Zuko into the elevator and he hopes she doesn’t notice how heavy he’s breathing. Somehow the 30-second elevator ride feels like hours, and it feels like the walls are closing in around them. When the doors finally </span>
  <em>
    <span>ding</span>
  </em>
  <span> open, Zuko has to restrain himself from sprinting out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko fumbles with his key as Suki walks a few doors down to her room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to hide anything from us,” Suki calls to him as she opens her door. “We all love you no matter what.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko tries to say thank you, but the words won’t come out, and if they did, tears would probably follow. He shoves the door open and slams it behind him, forgetting for a moment that Jet might be there waiting for a fight. But because life isn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> cruel, he’s not there and Zuko is relieved, to say the very least.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sigh that escapes from him makes his whole body shake and he can’t stop himself from dropping down to the floor. His mind is racing and his heart, well it might actually go into cardiac arrest. Tears force their way out and Zuko is powerless to stop them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe it’s bad to keep secrets from his friends. And maybe he has nothing to be afraid of, but that doesn’t make the memories go away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At fifteen, Zuko looked at Mai and thought that maybe he could love her. If he was someone else. Sure, their relationship was happy and he cared about her more than anything and he did love her, but he didn’t love her the way she deserved to be loved. It killed him, mostly because he knew he was going to hurt her and he couldn’t stop it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was so sweet in every way, even though she didn’t seem like it at all when you first met her. She looked at Zuko as if he had no flaws, and maybe at the time he didn’t. Zuko thought that maybe he could go forever and not tell her the truth, and it worked for a while. Every time they went out, he thought that </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> this was it. That night at the county fair where the purple ferris wheel lights hit her just right. The time she filled her car with cozy blankets and pretty lights so they could watch the sunset. He thought that he felt love, real love. And he did, but it wasn’t the love he’d promised to give her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pretended it was all okay. He kissed her for a little longer, held her a little tighter, did all he could to make himself believe he was in love. When he walked her to class, he made sure to say, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I love you,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>with more intensity than ever before. If he tried hard enough, he could make the feelings he was trying to suppress go away permanently. He had everyone fooled, his next target was himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Mai caught on soon enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew it the day she turned to him, autumn leaves scattering behind her, and said, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You are my best friend. No matter what.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He knew that she knew, even if he wasn’t quite sure what it really was. His heart hurt, thinking about how she was giving him all the love in her heart and he could never give it back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wrote pages and pages of speeches to give her. Apologies he needed to say. Ways to justify himself. He rehearsed those speeches in the mirror, trying to find the perfect words to explain exactly what he was feeling, though he wasn’t entirely sure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko never had to say anything, though. Mai just </span>
  <em>
    <span>got it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She came early to school with two coffees in her hands and a little gift bag in her pocket. Zuko panicked for a minute, thinking he’d forgotten something important, and maybe he sort of had. They sat on the front steps, drinking in silence until Mai finally presented Zuko with whatever surprise waited in the bag. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inside was a little friendship bracelet of diagonal lines. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Zuko held it with tears in his eyes and when he looked at Mai, he could see the sadness behind her smile. She hugged him tighter than she ever had, Zuko felt like it might have been a goodbye-hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he whispered through his tears, though no thanks would ever be enough. Mai had let something go. Mai had lost something so that Zuko could gain. He shouldn’t have had to feel guilty but he couldn’t stop it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Mai,” he said once the tears ran out. “Just not the way I’m supposed to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Having that bracelet around his wrist was a bigger problem than he’d anticipated. Looking at it reminded him of so many things. That Mai loved him, that Mai was </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurting because of him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and that if Zuko’s father ever saw...He didn’t want to think about it. He kept it hidden under long sleeves, ignoring weather-appropriate style choices. The only person allowed to see it was Mai, but even with her, Zuko felt it was better kept hidden.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The night at the dinner table where the little rainbow stripes peaked out from under long sweatshirt sleeves burned into Zuko’s mind. He tried to push it back so no one would see, but he was too late. When his father grabbed his wrist to reveal the bracelet, Zuko knew it was over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko doesn’t remember all of it now. He remembers the yelling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What the hell is this? You’re fucking gay?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He remembers crying and begging his father for some sort of forgiveness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dad, I’m sorry. Please-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He even remembers Azula wiping her eyes while she tried to maintain her composure. Zuko would never know what she was thinking at that moment and for the rest of his life he’d feel so much regret because of it. Most of what happened next is gone from his memory. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Except the pain. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Zuko woke up, surrounded by white walls and light blue bedding and his uncle at his side, he knew that life would never go back to normal. Whatever that meant. How Iroh got there so quickly--considering he lived on the other side of the country--Zuko will never know. But it didn’t matter </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span> Iroh got there, what mattered was that Iroh </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> there and that Zuko at least had a place to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zuko went back to Iroh’s with nothing. No clothes, no friends. Nothing but guilt. The guilt of leaving Mai and Azula behind, knowing he’d probably never be able to talk to them again. The last piece of that horrific puzzle was cutting that little strip of pride from his arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before this all happened, Zuko had already been an anxious person by nature. But now, he was living in a constant state of fear. His mind was always screaming, telling him he wasn’t safe, or that he was a terrible person for abandoning the people he cared about. He walked around everywhere, afraid that a target was on his back and he couldn’t see it. Any trace of innocence that once lived in him had gone away. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<span>So he swore to himself, no one would ever know his secret again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No one.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank u for reading!! i love my plant gays so much :) the biggest thanks to the stunning <a href="https://acezukos.tumblr.com/">abby</a> and <a href="https://itszukkatime.tumblr.com/">sonny</a> for beta-ing this chapter and also being incredible ladies whom I love very very much<br/>(I start classes next week so chapter updates may become a little sparse but I'm working on getting as much out as I can!!!)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the biggest thanks are in order for the incredible <a href="https://acezukos.tumblr.com/">acezukos</a> for beta-ing this fic and also listening to all my ideas and also being just a wonderful friend. she also invented the stemverse and plant dad!zuko which were huge inspirations for me and I am forever grateful.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>